There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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