Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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