well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
