Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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