i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
