i think my mom watched the whole time
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
