I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
