If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
