I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
high people should be assigned attendants
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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