you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
