Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
