I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
