piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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