yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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