Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
