Sry I called you an 8
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
