Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
