put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
