the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
