i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Couch. On fire.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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