I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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