Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize