I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
