I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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