I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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