She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
