He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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