I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
