on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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