Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
