Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
