therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
