I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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