What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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