threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
