Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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