if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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