I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
