i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
