i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We need to rekindle our bromance
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize