Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
