worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
