We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
