Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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