I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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