I'd wear matching sweaters with you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
