She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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