couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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