Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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