You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have fence marks all over my body
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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