The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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