I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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