ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
