I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
