I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
