my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need water and some morals
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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