I think I am morally bankrupt
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I did not marry a roomba.
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