If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He better not be in your backpack
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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