I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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