her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
