Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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