She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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