i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
