Already got asked if we're dating
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
