So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
