SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
