Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
